Julius Caesar-Sporean version

[Inspired from one episode in Police And Thief that I saw on TV mobile XD]

Act III scene 2

[Brutus has spoken at the pulpit and exits. Now Mark Antony’s supposed to speak]

First Citizen
Oi, don’t go leh! Listen to him lar!
Third Citizen
Let him go to speaker’s corner la. We will listen one. Err, Mark Antony, you can go up.
Antony
Heng ar…I owe you one man, Brutus!

[Goes into pulpit]

Fourth Citizen
Eh wad he say about Brutus?
Third Citizen
He said “Heng ar…I owe you one man, Brutus!”
Fourth Citizen
He better not badmouth Brutus ar!
First Citizen
Caesar was such a bad gar’men!
Third Citizen
Yar lor! Lucky now Spore not under him ar!
Second Citizen
Eh shaddup leh! Listen to Antony!
Antony
Fellow Sporeans-
All
Oi, DIAM LA! Listen leh!
Antony
Fellow Sporeans, listen to me.
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
People only remember bad things, never the good ones.
Aiyah, too bad for Caesar lor.
Brutus told you Caesar too ambitious right?
If really like that, then it was a big mistake,
And Caesar pay for it liao lor.
Here, with permission from Brutus,
[for Brutus very reputable right]
I come to talk in Caesar’s funeral.
Caesar bring so many captives home,
And their money all go to the people leh!
You call this ambition ar?
When poor people suffer ar,
Caesar also suffer leh, emotionally la!
Ambition is like that one meh?
But Brutus say he ambitious leh,
And Brutus got reputation one.
You all got see right, on the Lupercal,
I gave him the crown THREE times leh!
And he didn’t take it at all la! You call this
Ambition hor?
But then ar, Brutus say he very the ambitious
And Brutus got reputation one leh.
No, I’m not here to distort what Brutus said,
I just want to say what I know la.
Last time, you all very happy with Caesar one wad?
Why now like that?
Why now so stupid liao?
Hai, bear with me,
Because I’m very sad. Please wait a while.

First Citizen
Eh, makes sense leh.
Second Citizen
Yar, archerly Caesar had been treated very badly leh…
Third Citizen
Really meh? I scared the next one who leads the gar’men is worse leh…
Fourth Citizen
Eh you got hear one or not? Caesar never take the crown leh, obviously he not ambitious wad!
First Citizen
If really like that ar, someone must pay for it!!!
Second Citizen
So poor thing, he cry until his eyes all red liao, like rabbit one like that leh.

I’ll end here for now…Don’t ask me why a “politician” speaks Singlish…