Let's see how long this one will survive

BYEBYE BLOG

2008-12-31T04:51:00.002-08:00

I have moved! Going to co-blog with Zhiying at http://hophopjump.livejournal.com so please go there from now on! And thanks to those who have been reading this wonderfully dead blog!

My autobiography

2008-11-08T06:11:00.004-08:00

I was born in the 1950s. The fateful day of 25 May 1945. Yes, that makes me...63 years old.

My family ran a shop selling traditional chinese medicine. It was quite big...I guess I was well-off? I had 2 older brothers. With them continuing the family business, my family allowed me to do whatever I like with my life. (Being the youngest, and a girl, helped me in getting their attention. I was pampered :D)

As a child, I knew I would study medicine. I loved the smell of the shop, but hated the taste of chinese medicine. And of course, I thought I would help my brothers with the shop when I grew older. But...things change.

I went to university and got attracted to the idea of western medicine. Well at that time, anything Western seemed cool. Cool names. Cool dressing. Cool odourless white capsules. Its not about qi, or some foods being re and some being liang. Its about bacteria (I forgot the names), high cholestarol. I pursued western medicine in university.

At that time, I lived in the dorms, sharing a room with another girl. And she will set up aromatic candles and take out charms on some nights. Not on full moon nights though. Anyway, she specialised in what people thought as black magic. It was something entirely different, but for convenience's sake, lets call it "black magic". It's not supposed to be anything dark. Anyway, after seeing her successes in studies, love and predictions-come-true, I started to practise it too. And till now, I still believe in it.

My life went smooth-sailing from there. I felt like I could control it, and everything else. I graduated and got a job as a nurse. My friend and I still kept in touch. (She became a respected female professor I think) Anyway, through her, I learnt the magic of eternal life.

Of course, I wasn't that naive. But she didn't age at all, even after 20 years. I was convinced that the magic did help, even if not for eternal life. I was getting old. I became worried. I sought her help, and she helped me prepare all I needed to perform the magic.

But one thing that was lacking was pure water. My friend refused to tell me how she sourced it (now that I think of it, she must have lied to me about the water). Anyway since the magic couldn't work, I had to give up on it. But I performed another one instead: to be reborn. It seems like my life can be renewed by 80 years. Tempting.

I transferred department. On 25 May (it has to be on the day of my birthday) 1992, 47 years old, when baby Erwina was born, a nurse helping with the delivery performed the magic and became her (I wasn't bad enough to chase her soul away). So now, Erwina has 2 personailties: the original, and a 63-year old personailty.

Well, doesn't my autobiography explain a lot? Like:
How come Erwina as the taste of an auntie
How come Erwina can read the future ("black magic" practicioner)
How come Erwina can read your mind (see above)
How come Erwina is soooo lucky (see above)
How come Erwina is a gemini (ok that wasn't related)
How come Erwina acts so childish (cause she only has half the time other people get to grow up)
How come Erwina addresses certain people as nian qing ren
How come Erwina has such old-fashioned values
and much more...

The power of imagination.

What if... #1

2008-09-27T23:32:00.002-07:00

...there's no frictional force in this world?

We will slide to wherever we want and not stop till we drop into the river/hole/ crash into a cliff. We'll drown since there's no way we can climb back up to shore.

There will be no F1 racng as the drivers will just overshoot (cannot brake). Unable to turn to complete rounds.

There will be no such thing as erasers.

Nor bottle caps, since there's no way it can be screwed tight.

(Just realised something incredibly amusing. I typed "well being" into MS word and it was underlined in green. So i right-clicked it and the suggestion was "well-being". So i clicked on it and changed it, but then it got underlined again. Right click-- "well being". And it got underlined =.=. So smart. Even nicer than the understand-comprehend thingy XD)

Back to friction...

There MAY (note that I'm not saying WILL) be no such word as "friction". But it may actually solely mean friction between people... hmm...

Physics will be a lot easier!

The old roller-mouse will never work.

We can't light fires. All of us will stil be stuck in stone age. Or perhaps there will be no life at all.

There will be (or never be) soil erosion. Will be: Roots of plants unable to hold soil together. Will not be: Water will not be able to wash soil away.

Paperclips will not work!

Dusters will not work! So no more whiteboard duties!

Of course there are many more but I think I've crapped enough Really, I should be studying my environment degradation notes... :( :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TW!

2008-08-04T07:23:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINKYWINKY THOUGH I DOUBT YOU WILL READ THIS IN TIME BUT ANYWAY YUP I SHALL DEDICATE THIS POST TO YOU SO FEEL HONOURED THIS IS MY FIRST AUGUST POST SO ITS REALLY QUITE A PRIVILEDGE FOR YOU ANYWAY ACCORDING TO MICHELLE I AM SUPPOSED TO SAY

schizophrenic. says:
haha you can say she's nice
schizophrenic. says:
and how she's too kind
schizophrenic. says:
and too nice
schizophrenic. says:
and how you miss going home with her
schizophrenic. says:
^^

or swinging with her
schizophrenic. says:
and remind her that i will buy her an ice cream but suying won't buy you any

YUP SO BARNEY WILL GET YOU UR ICECREAM ANYWAY WE NEED TO GO EAT ICECREAM SOON SOON SOON HMM WHAT ELSE SHALL I SAY OK I DUNNO WAD ELSE TO SAY I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WORK SO BYEBYE XD

Procrastination is not a sin

2008-07-06T08:34:00.005-07:00

So I shouldn't feel guilty I shouldn't feel guilty I shouldn't feel guilty I shouldn't feel guilty I shouldn't feel guilty I shouldn't feel guilty.

Arghhhhhhh I hate myself!!!! [Okay just kidding]

Procrastination is being cruel to yourself. For example. You have youth day fun fair on Friday, so there's no CCA or any other stuff after school. You have nothing on on Saturday either. Sunday you have plans to go out and celebrate birthdays. Monday is a holiday.

Plan:
Friday afternoon--slack
Saturday--Finish Either zuowen or ying yong wen.
Sunday--Play whole day
Monday--Finish the zuowen or ying yong wen. And NYAA.

If there's time, redo the applications piece.

Fact:
Friday afternoon--slack
Saturday--Slack
Sunday--Play whole day, tries to finish nyaa by tonight but was blur and wrote the wrong thing on the wrong age and my scanner's not working so I shall not do it today.
Monday--Chiong zuowen and yingyongwen.

So sorry Monday de Erwina for dumping all these on you!!! Please don't hate me!!!!

I can feel the cruelty inflicted by myself on myself.

Therefore, I shall strive and at least finish my yingyongwen today.

Okay, where's my pen? Argh, forget it, shall do it tmr. Since it's late and I'm tired.

Don't wanna do work...

2008-07-01T05:12:00.003-07:00

Hey you should start on your math reflections...not blogging.

Ok I'll start once I've finished blogging.

Which is when?

Well math reflections can wait...at the most I'll just sleep late lor.

And you know you will end up sleeping late. Hey you should really stop procrastinating. You still have tons of undone work, esp the NYAA thing...

I'll do the NYAA on Friday. As for the others, I promise to finish what's due tmr by today, even if I have to work till like 12 + am.

Hey his (my brother) high note broke.

Yeah.

Anyway, you know you wasted a lot of time today? Just because there's no more PLC doesn't mean that you should slack all the way till the time PLC's supposed to end.

But I can't help it! I just can't bring myself to face work at this time!!! Especially when I have better stuff to do...

You mean stuff that you want to do. Like TV, books, games, surfing the web...

But it's not fair! We spend the whole day in school, then we get home and rest for a bit, and then we do homework till late at night! The number of free hours just aren't enough!

Not really. When you get home it will be around 3.30pm. Shower till 4.00 pm. then take away one hour for dinner. Take away 3 hours max for homework. and let's say you sleep at 10pm. So from 4pm to 10pm there's 6 hours. Take away dinner and homework time and you still have 3 hours left. To play or do whatever you want to. And that's if you have 3 hours worth of homework to do. If you had utilised your time properly, you wouldn'nt have to sleep late and you can slack/crap/play for 3 whole hours!!!

Yeah, makes sense. BUT we human beings just aren't disciplined enough. At least, not me. There're like 24 hours a day. Take away 7 for sleeping, we've got 14 hours. 3/14 X100% = 21.428571 %. We only spend this much of our active hours each day to do what we want!

I don't deny that whatever you've said is correct. It can be done. But what I wanna say is, we deserve better. You've got 3 hours of free time. Take away transport + 3rd lang, there's no more. Take away CCA, no more. We don't have time to have a life. Even Sat and Sun, we have to do homework. We can't even properly enjoy our weekends! :(

I just don't have enough discipline la...

Since everyone wants me to...

2008-06-25T07:36:00.003-07:00

I shall post.

But no, I'm saving Japan for later, when I'm in a better mood.

How to Live Longer and Lament Less. [I love alliteration)

1) Don't take school so seriously.

If you try to finish all your homework, try to hand up every single piece on time, you are a goner. Especially if you take very long to do each piece, and you won't settle for a piece of work that's not good enough to you. If you try to stay awake in class, even during lectures, you are a goner. You can't sleep at home cause of all the homework, then sleep in school. If you don't even sleep in school, you'll not Live Long. Cause sleep is important. And if you worry yourself over presentations and essays and class participation, you'll just age faster.

2) Don't take life so seriously.

Especially if you have a brother who goes to school for half a day and then comes home and play all the way. [And i really mean play ok]. Once you see through life as something transient, once you see that you are only a drop of water in the endless ocean, once you see that the world may end in four year's time [u can try googling 2012 december dunno wad date], you'll Lament Less. But that's only if you have acheived the stage of not becoming sad when you see ur bad results and not worrying about your future. For this to work, you have to absolutely believe that there is no future. For you.

3) Don't compete.

You'll only be sad when you lose. There's no point in winning anyway. So why torture yourself.

4) Don't keep telling people to update.

'Cause if the person suddenly loses it and graps hold of your neck you'll not Live Long.

5) Don't read.

Don't read those motivational books. They'll only psyco you to live a meaningful life so that you'll be happy, which is in itself a paradox. Don't touch those books at all, or you'll never attain nirvana. You HAVE TO psyco yourself that there is no meaning in school, so that you'll not take it so seriously, and that will save you from a lot of worries and stress and boredom and feelings of imperfection and disappointment.

A good place to start is www.despair.com. Read those demotivators, get those mugs or something. And meditate. Brainwash yourself. And you'l LLLL.

Good luck, mortal beings.

Life's paradox #2

2008-05-15T07:14:00.002-07:00

I want to sleep but I don't want to sleep.

Sub "home" in the previous post with "sleep".

Ok, I shall not be lazy. I really wanted to leave it at that.

I want to sleep. 'Cause well, I'm sleepy =.= There is such an abundance of homework that there will not be a rice crisis if we can turn homework into rice. Anyway, 'cause of the excess homework, I can't sleep till I have finished the urgent ones. And those pieces of homework will usually not let me off till late at night. Thus, the next morning, and also night actually, I will feel sleepy. Sleepiness will cause me to take very long to do my work, resulting in working till late at night, causing me to sleep late, causing me to feel sleepy the next morning, causing me to feel sleepy the next night, causing me to take longer to do work, causing me to sleep late...It's a vicious cycle. I suggest this be a topic for IH. We will score.

HOWEVER,
I don't want to sleep. Sleeping causes a time gap in which we do nothing, and when we wake up, we will feel groggy and tired and more sleepy and the worst thing: we have to go to school. After finally finishing a day of work, we just get a few hours of sleep in which we don't do fun things like playing games. And so, it's kind of wasted :(. Anyway, after sleeping, we will have to face school, or face the day, depending on which is worse. So, I don't want to sleep. Sleeping seems to BRING "tomorrow". The dreaded "tomorrow". Unless it's a Saturady. But there's open house this Saturday. OH NOOOOOOOO MY SLEEEEEEEPPPPPP.....!!!!!

Life's paradox #1

2008-05-13T06:57:00.002-07:00

I want to go home but I don't want to go home.

I want to go home because school is tiring and boring. There are only a few lessons that I look forward to, and sometimes there are disappointments. I don't want to go through most lessons. For example, Chinese comprehension/ compo. Quizzes. Especially quizzes. They worry me too much. So, after a tiring and sleepy and boring day in school, it's nice to think that you are going home. It's nice to think of plopping down on your sofa and eating yoghurt. Therefore, I Want To Go Home.

HOWEVER,
I don't want to go home. Mainly because of this thing called HOMEwork. If I didn't know better it would have been nice, cause of HOME. But nevermind, on to my point. The thing is, a home allows you to relax, but not for long. Afterwards you will have to do HOME work, which are supposed to be done at home. So, it's not made so that you can finish it in school. It's main purpose is to take away your relaxing time at home. In conclusion, once you reach home, you'll have to face this thing called HOMEwork.

So there! A paradox in life.

I rear insects

2008-05-03T04:47:00.005-07:00

Sorry about the interview, but I've got better stuff to write about XD >.<

My room is home to/ has been home to/ is a favourite place to hangout for insects.

My room is/was home to:

Ants. One day, a group of ants came stumbling to my room and found a hole in my drawer next to my desk. They thought: Hey! That's a nice hole! And started building their home there. So one day, while I was doing maths worksheet, I realised there was activity at the edge of the desk that I was working on. I looked, and saw a whole LINE of ants crawling happily to the hole. I traced it all the way to my door and to the living room to the telephone desk to the TV cupboard to the sockets to the ceiling. But they're gone now.

Bee. This happened this morning. I woke up as usual and saw this huge bee hovering over my bed. I jumped out, did a duck-and-roll [with my bolster] and crawled out, all the while keeping an close eye on the bee. I managed to get to the living room safely [still hugging my bolster]. The we realised the bee was making trips between our plants at the corridor and my books, so my brother guessed that the bee was trying to make a nest. So while the bee was out collecting pollen or something, we snuck into the room to the books. And there, was a under-construction bee's nest. [And it's the wet version. Haven't solidified] Terrified, my mom grabbed the book the nest was on and brought it out to the living room. The rest of us followed, making a sudden duck when the bee came back in. My mom threw the book away. Anyway, the bee couldn't find its nest, so it started to find a spot to build a new one. When it came out to grab materials, I dashed to the door and closed it tight. And we still didn't have peace. In the end, all three rooms were closed off, and the bee came flying happily through the house, round and round. So we had to duck while we were playing. Suddenly, it disappeared, and we were so happy. After a while, before we went out, my brother opened my room door again. And there it was, happily flying around.

We went out anyway, and I dunno where it is now. Or its home.

My house is a favourite hangout place for:

Beetles. It happened twice, the same species. All late at night when my room had the only light. Its wings make a very loud buzzing noise when it moves. First time, I didn't know the sound came from the bug, till I suddenly realised: Hey. The sound isn't natural. After searching , I found this brown beetle flapping its wings and hopping here and there. I was scared, but didn't dare go catch it, so I left it alone. Till it starts flying around. I went to hide in the living room. When I went back, it was gone. I checked my bed, it wasn't there. So I took a step back, and...stepped on something. At the edge of my foot. So there it was, the bug. I jumped. It looked every bit alive. Having no choice, I went out to take a piece of tissue paper to catch it. When the tissue landed on the bug, it became WET. With red liquid. I felt sad for the poor creature, but I picked it up anyway and dumped it down the rubbish chute.

The second time, it was again, late at night, with me being the only awake one. And I heard the noise again. immediately, I sensed danger, and stood up immediately, in ready position, scanning my environment for any sign of life. I spotted the bug. Same species. Same size. Same colour. Must be retribution. Anyway, I tried to leave it alone again, but it wouldn't leave ME alone. So I switched off all the lights and went to hide in the living room, hoping the bug will fly out of the window. After a while, I went back in. The bug wasn't anywhere. So I resumed my work. Suddenly, I just looked down at the chair I was sitting on. And there, RIGHT NEXT TO my leg, sharing the same chair as me, was the bug! I jumped, [as in, really JUMPED ok] out of the chair. I turned the chair. It didn't move. I shooked the chair. It didn't move. So I did an amusing thing, I pushed the whole chair out to the living room, checked it was still on the chair, and then went to continue my work. After a while of peace, IT CAME BACK AGAIN.

I heard the sound, and saw it coming, and it got flipped midair by my fan, and fell onto the floor, belly-up. I stoned in surprise, and when it recovered and started flying around, I ducked and crawled out to the room. Must be the light. So I came back to the door, switched off my computer, switched off the light, and went to the living room, switched on the living room lights, and started reading and waiting. After a while, it came out. Immediately, I threw the book down, shot to the lights' switches, jumped away from the switches as the bug came over, switched off the lights when the bug was away, shot to my bedroom, jumped into bed and pulled my blanket over my head and tried to sleep. And I did. And the next morning, it disappeared again. No one knows where it is now.

Finally, a cockroach came to hangout too. It was when I was going to bed, and I went into the room, and saw this black thing smack right in the middle of my floor. I went out to get my specs, and realised it was a cockroach. A big one. Anyway I decided to sleep in the living room, but my brother didn't allow cause he wanted the sofa to watch TV. So he gave this very smart advice: Go to bed and pull the blanketsw over your head, and you'll be fine. I didn't trust him, but well, there was no choice. I HAVE to sleep. So I did as he was told. The next nmorning, it was gone. And I hate to repeat this, but no one knows where it is now.

That's all I can remember, if you didn't count lizards.

So next time if you ever visit my room, BEWARE OF INSECTS.

~Crappie Brain

Meet the Spartans CREW

2008-04-29T06:00:00.008-07:00

Iwantmorebrains is getting increasingly popular these days. [Don't take this sentence too seriously. Have to start this thing somehow...] Today, we are pleased to present our findings of Mr Brain, editor of iwantmorebrains, and his CREW.

Brainy Acc, AKA Mr Brain. Editor and publisher. Posts include: I'm sick.

Profile:

Name: Brainy Acc

Job: Editor

Gender: Male

Height: 17cm with his hat, 15cm without

Character traits: Never goes out without his hat and spectacles

Leftie Brain, AKA L. Brain, is the guy behind the more academic posts, for example, My expository essay, or yours and Graphs of my life [The ONLY comic he has EVER drawn]. He is the smallest member of the crew [and he's shrinking every year].

Profile:

Name: Leftie Brain

Job: Writer

Gender: Male

Height: 5cm, as of 29 April 2008.

Character traits: The most snappish and irritatin' old fella, this guy is apparently only 16 years old, like the rest of the crew. How he has aged thus is probably due to overexhertion.

Rightie Brain, AKA R. Brain. Well versed in the arts, his the guy that draws all the rest of the comics [but some ideas did come from L. Brain]. Posts include: Games killed me and Julius Caesar--Sporean version

Profile:

Name: Rightie Brain

Job: Writer and comic artist

Gender: Male

Height: 23cm

Character traits: Despite being a stark contrast to L. Brain, the two are the best of friends. How R. Brain managed to be friends with L.Brain for so long remains a mystery.

Crappie Brain. AKA Crapbrain. As his name suggests, he's the crappiest one around and is the life of the blog, despite looking like crap. Posts include: 5 ways to irritate people and Top 10 GREATEST INVENTIONS.

Profile:

Name: Crappie Brain

Job: Crapper

Gender: Unknown

Height: 30 cm ['cause of his hairstyle]

Character traits: Due to his looks, he was rejected by tons of blogs till Mr. Brain [who happens to be his uncle despite being of the same age] took him in.

There! Ain't that a wonderful team? Next entry shall feature an interview with the crew! Look out for it!

Friendships are built on bullying

2008-04-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Proof:

Bully me

Zhiying pulls my rubber band

And so does Kendra. And she pinches my face >.<

J9…hmm seems like my only decent friend

Zixin—can’t remember but confirm got one

Katherine+ Sabo+ Claire CAKES me. Actually Sabo is the one. But the other two are conspirators.

Esther: Calls me chipmunk

I bully

Michelle Peh: Steals her water bottle and kicks her XD

Jia Rern: Teaches her all the weird stuff

Sabo: Slide phone!

Kat: Empties her pencil case stuff all over the table

Swee Hoon: Tries to steal her phone during Jap lesson

The above are the more prominent cases of bullying. Please remind me of cases of your bullying/ my bullying so that I can lengthen this post XD

5 ways to avoid getting irritated

2008-04-15T05:33:00.001-07:00

The previous post backfired.

So I’m going to try to remedy it.

5) Start singing the song:

I know a song that irritates you,
I know a song that irritates you,
I know a song that irritates you,
And the song goes like this: [pom pom pom]

How to counter: Get ear plugs. Or sing along! XD

4) Write stupid, random stuff on other people’s foolscap [preferable new] or books. To be done in PENCIL.

How to avoid: 看开点…

3) When person A is introducing their favourite character/ idol etc to friend B, cut off the A and tell B horrible stuff about the character that is untrue.

How to avoid: Agree in a VERY sarcastic tone. And afterwards when the irritant is gone tell B the truth~

2) To irritate people who have ponytails. Pull their rubber band every time you walk past them. Works wonders.

How to avoid: 以牙还牙 OR cut your hair OR tie a very tight ponytail OR bring A LOT of cheap rubber bands.

1) To irritate people who use slide phones often: Slide the phone EVERY TIME they use it. Works best if they are in the middle of composing SMSes.

How to avoid: Don’t get a slide phone! XD Confirm will work one XDXD

Julius Caesar-Sporean version

2008-04-12T05:37:00.002-07:00

[Inspired from one episode in Police And Thief that I saw on TV mobile XD]

Act III scene 2

[Brutus has spoken at the pulpit and exits. Now Mark Antony’s supposed to speak]

First Citizen
Oi, don’t go leh! Listen to him lar!
Third Citizen
Let him go to speaker’s corner la. We will listen one. Err, Mark Antony, you can go up.
Antony
Heng ar…I owe you one man, Brutus!

[Goes into pulpit]

Fourth Citizen
Eh wad he say about Brutus?
Third Citizen
He said “Heng ar…I owe you one man, Brutus!”
Fourth Citizen
He better not badmouth Brutus ar!
First Citizen
Caesar was such a bad gar’men!
Third Citizen
Yar lor! Lucky now Spore not under him ar!
Second Citizen
Eh shaddup leh! Listen to Antony!
Antony
Fellow Sporeans-
All
Oi, DIAM LA! Listen leh!
Antony
Fellow Sporeans, listen to me.
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
People only remember bad things, never the good ones.
Aiyah, too bad for Caesar lor.
Brutus told you Caesar too ambitious right?
If really like that, then it was a big mistake,
And Caesar pay for it liao lor.
Here, with permission from Brutus,
[for Brutus very reputable right]
I come to talk in Caesar’s funeral.
Caesar bring so many captives home,
And their money all go to the people leh!
You call this ambition ar?
When poor people suffer ar,
Caesar also suffer leh, emotionally la!
Ambition is like that one meh?
But Brutus say he ambitious leh,
And Brutus got reputation one.
You all got see right, on the Lupercal,
I gave him the crown THREE times leh!
And he didn’t take it at all la! You call this
Ambition hor?
But then ar, Brutus say he very the ambitious
And Brutus got reputation one leh.
No, I’m not here to distort what Brutus said,
I just want to say what I know la.
Last time, you all very happy with Caesar one wad?
Why now like that?
Why now so stupid liao?
Hai, bear with me,
Because I’m very sad. Please wait a while.

First Citizen
Eh, makes sense leh.
Second Citizen
Yar, archerly Caesar had been treated very badly leh…
Third Citizen
Really meh? I scared the next one who leads the gar’men is worse leh…
Fourth Citizen
Eh you got hear one or not? Caesar never take the crown leh, obviously he not ambitious wad!
First Citizen
If really like that ar, someone must pay for it!!!
Second Citizen
So poor thing, he cry until his eyes all red liao, like rabbit one like that leh.

I’ll end here for now…Don’t ask me why a “politician” speaks Singlish…

5 ways to irritate people

2008-04-11T08:22:00.005-07:00

By Erwina Lee, well-recognised self-proclaimed professional irritant.

5) Start singing the song:

I know a song that irritates you,
I know a song that irritates you,
I know a song that irritates you,
And the song goes like this: [pom pom pom]

Repeat the song as many times as you wish. No. of times repeated is directly proportionate to irritativity.

Irritating index: * *

Pros: No items needed at all!
Cons: You may be irritated yourself. And you may get a sore throat.

4) Write stupid, random stuff on other people’s foolscap [preferable new] or books. To be done in PENCIL. Suggested writings include “This book belongs to [insert name here. Can be your own], “~~Snake~~ Squall<3333” or simply a very ugly smiley face that doesn’t look like one. Strength of writing is directly proportionate to irritativity.

Irritating index: * * *

Pros: You only need a pencil for the act. Can be done anywhere, anytime.
Cons: May not work on some people. May be forced to erase the crap.

3) When person A is introducing their favourite character/ idol etc to friend B, cut off A and tell B horrible stuff about the character that is untrue.

Eg:
A: Hey you know chocobo’s sooooooooooo cute!!!!
B: What’s chocobo?
A: It’s a bird from Final-
You: OH CHOCOBO! I KNOW! It’s a CHOCOLATE bird from MAPLESTORY!
A: Nooooooooo! Chocobo is such a cute-
You: Yes it’s brown and it’s NOT CUTE AT ALL!
… Something like that.

Irritating index: * * * *

Pros: Its pure evil
Cons: A will be soooooooo SAD

2) To irritate people who have ponytails. Pull their rubber band every time you walk past them. Works wonders.

Irritating index: * * * * [minus one star for the fact that it can’t be used on people with no ponytails.]

Pros: It is freakin’ irritatin’ >.< *stares at a certain nzy XD*
Cons: Require lots of practice and skill. May not work well for long, tight ponytails. May offend people [well but that’s the whole point]. If you need help on how to improve your rubber-band pulling skills, please look for NZY, who is an expert in the area.

1) To irritate people who use slide phones often: Slide the phone EVERY TIME they use it. Works best if they are in the middle of composing SMSes.
Irritating index: * * * * *
Pros: Easy, can be done anywhere, anytime with no items required (for yourself) Cons: Does not delete the half-composed message.

Final note: Like the expo essay, I’m not responsible for the consequences.

When physics meet chem...

2008-04-08T07:09:00.003-07:00

10 ways to NOT get approached by students selling flags (from least success rate to most):

2008-04-05T02:39:00.000-07:00

10) Approach them yourself with coins in your hands. =.=

9) Walking past them normally.

8) Walk past them and look at everything else except them (aka avoid eye contact)

7) Be in a group and chat like nobody’s business.

6) Take a sudden interest in your groceries (or anything you are carrying) and stare at it till you are a safe distance away.

5) Listen to your ipod.

4) Pick up a sudden phone call. The strange thing is, the phone didn’t ring. And it lasts until you are a safe distance away from the student.

3) Carry stuff that looks heavy on each hand. Umbrella on one hand also helps.

2) If at a junction or traffic light, wait till the traffic light (as in the pedestrian one =.=) turns green then dash across the student and the road.

1) Donate once and get a flag (sticker) and stick it on a SUPER OBVIOUS place.

Wish you good luck.

Chem SPA practice

2008-04-01T05:56:00.002-07:00

Aim: To make an ERWINA

Concept:

Stress reacts with sleepiness to form a student.

3 Stress (g) + 2 sleepiness(aq) --> Student (s)

When concentrated egoism and extra brain juice are added to the student, Erwina is formed.

1 student (s) + 6 Egoism (g) + 20 brain juice (aq) --> Erwina (s)

The more brain juice you add, the smarter the end product will be.

Apparatus (preliminary calculations omitted):

-1 50-litre beaker
-1 100-litre beaker
-300 dm3 of stress [According to Zixin, stress is a gas 'cause it does not have a definite pressure on students XD]
-20 litres of 10 mol/dm3 sleepiness
-1 bunsen burner
-600 dm3 of egoism
-20 litres of 10mol/dm3 brain juice
-Glass rod

Procedure:

1. Measure out 20 litres of concentrated sleepiness using the 50-litre beaker and add it to the 100 litre beaker.
2. Pump Stress through the solution
3. Stir using the glass rod
4. Once all the effervescence has stopped, heat the solution with a Bunsen burner. Stir it until it solidifies. It will solidify into a student.
5. Take the student out of the beaker. Wash it and measure 20 litres of concentrated brain juice. Add it into the 100-litre beaker.
6. Pump 600dm3 of egoism into the solution. Once that is done, pour the solution down the throat of the student to get Erwina.

[Diagram not available]

Results:

If all steps are followed correctly, and all the right quantities are used, you should get a fairly smart Erwina.

Precautions:
Make sure you do not use any more brain juice and/or egoism than what is specified, as that may cause serious irritation.

April Fools~

2008-03-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

I am planning something big. For April fool’s. Watch out.

Maybe I’ll elaborate more on what I’m going to do.

So, what will I do?

A) Steal and switch people’s stationery. [Wow this is mild]

B) Bring my slime to school and…

C) Add slime to people’s food during recess

D) Bring a creepy-looking doll and leave it in a toilet cubicle in the morning

E) Talk to the air beside you

F) Add food colouring to people’s drinks. Preferably green one. And perhaps a bit of corn flour to go with it…

G) Make prank calls

So, what will I do? Just look out for it tmr!

[Oh my goodness I’m really losing my lameness here usually I laugh at my own jokes but this time it’s not even funny enough oh me goodness what should I do]

Happy April Fools…

Joke from primary school XD

2008-03-29T21:06:00.002-07:00

I did not make this up. I laughed till I almost fell off my chair that time XD

Next week's poll

2008-03-27T05:42:00.003-07:00

I have decided that there shall be a new poll every week. [It's quite lame but I don't care >.<]

So, what will you like next week's poll to be about?
Suggest at the tagboard XD

I am sick…

2008-03-26T05:55:00.001-07:00

An obligatory post to tell you that I will not be posting so much stuff so frequently from now on, as I am suffering from a deadly disease.

Symptoms include:

1) Lack of loooooooooooong posts. [By long I mean those like the letter and expo essay]
2) Lack of comics
3) Lack of lameness [This is serious.]
4) Lack of posts—at all

Yes. It’s a very horrible disease and causes me much suffering. So, I’m going to educate you on how the how to and how not to get it, for the benefit of mankind.

How to get it: Have a boring lifestyle. This causes you to have nothing to talk about.
How to not get it: Make something happen everyday. Alternatively, you can draw stuff to fill in gaps. Or you can also stock up on ideas in a word document and crap when needed. Finally, you can write a post about “What to do when you have nothing to blog about”.

How to get it: Have a tough school life so that you have no time to blog.
How not to get it: Again, stock up on ideas so that you can finish your posts fast, or post pictures. Perhaps have a “picture of the day” post or something.

How to get it: Be lazy.
How not to get it: Err…you can’t do anything about this. [Actually you can, but I’m too lazy to elaborate]

So, having known how to avoid the disease, I hope that you will update often! :D

Finally, as I have said earlier, I have already gotten the disease, so there will be fewer posts from now on. [Actually I ran out of ideas. And I am left with only two more unposted comics. Demand outstrips supply, apparently]

Happy posting!

Heroic quest

2008-03-25T05:40:00.002-07:00

CHEMISTRY

2008-03-24T05:48:00.001-07:00

Jiayou for last paper tmr!!

SPECS and SLIMS

2008-03-23T00:17:00.003-07:00

For the benefit of those who have A-lit test tmr, here are the SPECS and SLIMS:

Subject matter
Purpose
Emotions
Craftsmanship
Summary

Structure
Language
Imagery
Movement
Sound

Graphs of my life

2008-03-22T22:08:00.001-07:00

Quality not so good...

Magic

2008-03-21T06:01:00.001-07:00

I want to learn magic.

Especially impromptu, close-up ones.

That time I was watching this Chinese variety show, and then they had this professional magician who put up such an awesome show. Wonder how he did all that.

What’s so marvelous about magic?

~~Nong nong ago~~ Long long ago magicians were seen as people who really have magical powers. Now, as we all know, they don’t really have true magic, but they are skillful in handling their props so that they seem to appear and disappear. And they’re entertaining too. Especially when you are watching a magician doing a live performance in the middle of a crowd. Like this:

However, there have been items specially made for magic shows. Like fake coins, fake cards and so on. So my question here is, do you accept magic performed with modified props? Or real skill? Or both?

Personally, I don’t really like to see magic that uses fake props. Like a two-sided coin or remote-controlled card. It makes me feel like I was cheated. Especially if the performance was breathtaking. And then you find out oh, all I need is money to buy that card. Or that coin. Won’t you feel cheated too?

But there’s also nothing wrong with using fake props. As long as one can use the prop perfectly well so that no one can tell that it is fake, isn’t that skill? Isn’t that magic? I guess its true, but I still don’t like the idea of it. I think magic should be done with skill and the props should not be modified, so that if other people have the skill they can do it too. IF they have the SKILL. But most people won’t have the skill [at least not at the professional level]. That’s why magicians can still make a living.

I don’t mind missing out on spectacular magic if they are performed with props that are really “so modified” that the person doesn’t need skill to perform it. They cannot be called magicians if all they use are props and not skills.

Anyway, it’s just my opinion [somehow this post turned out a lot more serious than I intended]

I’M SO SORRY FOR THE UNINTERESTING POST!!!!!!!!!!!!I promise to do better next time XD

Religion, superstition and beliefs

2008-03-20T05:47:00.000-07:00

No, this is not going to be serious.

Do you believe in supernatural beings? Or do you want to believe in them but you know you don’t? Or do you sometimes believe in them but sometimes don’t?

I believe in them at night. I guess its cause of the atmosphere at night. And the silence. But not much in the day.

And sometimes I wish they exist, but sometimes I don’t. Why? You see, let’s say ghosts exist. That will make me afraid. Especially at night. But if they don’t it means that death is really The End. Dust. Nothing more. That also scares me. Ok, just call me a worry wart, scaredy cat, I don’t care. But its contradictory isn’t it?

Oh wells. Since when life isn’t.

Oh but I do hope all ghosts are like casper.
What do you think?

Math comic for math test

2008-03-19T06:52:00.005-07:00

Good luck for Math and LA tmr!! XD がんばってください！

Games killed me

2008-03-17T05:30:00.002-07:00

To whoever it may concern

If you’re reading this, that means ~~you are literate~~ I am no longer in this world. Please do not miss me. [I know it’s too much to ask for, but just try]

To Dad and mom: You are right, too much gaming is bad. I’m sorry to have spent your blood- sweat- money on stuff that won’t help me in my studies/career. So to make it up to you, I’ll just focus on manga [since SSBB is already in my hands muahaha].

To MCO4+Zixin: Till date, I still don’t get why you people don’t play games. The happiest times in my life are when I see my awesome character hacking away at huge caterchipillars. But I trust that you will see the light one-day. I’ll be waiting at the end of the tunnel to receive you. Just don’t be blinded by its brilliance and get lost like me now. But I will find my way. Trust me. There is only one thing in this world that is on par with games. It’s a brown drink with chewy black pearls at the bottom.

To Sabo, Kat: It’s sad that you people also don’t see the value of games. Gaming releases your soul from the sticky affairs of life. It transport you into a world of ruthless hacking and shooting [Depends on the game. “Dropping” if you love Tetris. “Dragging” if you love solitaire] and you won’t be branded a murderer. In fact, the more people you “kill”, the better you are [Oh s*** I digressed]. Anyway, it allows you to forget all worldly affairs and concentrate on having fun. Its like liquor for minors. Albeit liquor without after/side effects.

To Mich Peh and Sia and Gek and Xinyi and other bus stop people: I know you people are the ones who will miss me the most. I’m sorry, but don’t miss me. I know you will be reminded of the happy times at the bus stop or on the bus. Don’t be sad. Know that I am living well and happy on the other side. I am surrounded by my favourite games; I am in paradise. You people should also smile and be happy always.

Finally, to Claire: Feel honoured. Well I guess you deserve one whole para to yourself as you are the only gamer friend I have [sadly]. SSBB rocks. And I unlocked Marth and Ness. Don’t know how to use Zelda/ Sheik. CONNECT THE D*MN THING ALREADY @#%&*!!!!!!

Don’t feel sad.

P.S. ~~I love you~~ come join me XD

Love, Erwina

Yup fantasy world rocks. I commute to and from there every week. “There’s no place I’d rather be, you’ll always be a part of me…”

Top 10 GREATEST INVENTIONS

2008-03-15T22:24:00.002-07:00

Top 10 GREATEST INVENTIONS [based on what I can think off the top of my head]

1) Cinemas
2) Lifts [Includes the shaft]
3) Escalators
4) Refrigerator
5) Washing machine
6) Television [The big, slim ones]
7) Computers
8) Calculators
9) Handphones
10) Pencils

[OK that was a joke. That was by order of SIZE XD]

Now, the real thing.

Top 10 GREATEST INVENTIONS [again, based on what I can think off the top of my head]

AND COUNTING FROM THE BOTTOM, we have…

10) The punchers: Hole punchers!

They can be employed for lots of punching. Especially at the most hated worksheets.

9) The carrier: Carriers. Or bags

How else are you going to bring home your shopping or go to school with all that stuff?

8) The always busy: Buses and trains! [NOT cars. I’m for the protection of Mother Earth]

Without them, you’ll spend most of your life walking. Or video conferencing.

7) The silent worker: Stove

I’m sure you [or your mom, for that matter] will not like to collect twigs, charcoal or other fuels [like solid fuels] every time you want to cook [or want to toast your marshmallows] right?

By the way, toasting marshmallows at the stove is a waste of fuels and apparently not very healthy.

6) The baby: Handphones! XD

Yup it’s a baby cause it gets carried by their owners everywhere they go. And people immediately give their handphones attention once it ~~cries~~ rings. And of course, it’s a BABY.

Ok, so why did it make its way into the list? Well I’m sure you know why XD

5) The mathematician: Calculators!

Without them, a math paper will take more than one day to be finished. And we will still be studying straight-line graphs. Cause we’ll spend more time counting than learning.

4) The photographic memory: Cameras!

Oh, how can I forget thee? You capture the most important things in life~ Without you, how do we know what Mount Everest looks like? More importantly, how else are we going to start our Chinese compo, if we do not start thus: 那天，我在整理抽屉。当我翻开在抽屉里找到的日记时，有一张照片飘了下来。那是一张 [insert name here] 与我的照片…

3) The unappreciated: Refrigerators

If there’re no fridges, there will be NO ICE CREAM!!! Ok that’s not the main point but, REALLY ICE CREAM ROCKS!!!! *ahem* [OH a discovery! If you type a word between asterisks like the ahem thing, MS word will convert it into BOLD!] Anyway, you won’t have your cold food, and your fruits will go bad really quickly. In fact, apples/ pears etc can’t even be imported into Singapore! So we’ll all have to live on bananas. Coconuts if we are lucky enough. Appreciate your fridge.

2) The magician: Toilet bowls

Life made easy. Just a push of the button and behold! It’s all gone! Need me say more? XD

1) The LIGHT: Electric lamps!!!!

Well after camping in Sabah where it gets dark from 6/7 pm, [As in really dark. Like the 9 o’clock darkness in Singapore] I realized the importance of light at night. When I was there I really couldn’t see a thing! Ok maybe a bit from other people’s torches [I was too lazy to get my own out], but it was really inconvenient. And they didn’t have invention #9 there as well so you’ll be worried on stepping on [censored] as well. [Just kidding. People do choose faraway places to do their stuff.] Yup in any case, life would be miserable without electric lamps.

Addiction

2008-03-15T06:47:00.004-07:00

This post is dedicated to Zixin XD
Yup we have the same problem XD

My expository essay, or yours

2008-03-15T01:21:00.000-07:00

Well. Seeing that the holidays are almost over [wait, were there ever any to start with? :S ], I shall post an expository essay outline to help some poor souls out there who hasn’t done theirs if they ever drift here… May post some more if I have time.

Q21. ‘The main function of education should be to enable people to gain employment.’ Do you agree?

Intro:
· YES ABSOLUTELY. [Yes, bold it, caps it, just emphasize this point]
· Because, education does not only educate people so that they can find jobs, it also ~~tortures~~ does other stuff. [Yeah, who wants to provide counter- argument?]
· Yup and add in your own ~~rants~~ points.

Body:
· P: Education does enable people to gain employment. [Yup. First must address the writer’s point]
o E: Well I believe you can find your own examples.
o E: And elaborate on it.
o P: (ctrl+c, ctrl+v)

· P: However, education also has other functions. For example, it makes people appear pro.
o E: Person A has a PSLE cert. Person B has a Masters in something. People think B is pro-er.
o Yes, B is seen as pro-er but A can have a better career [earn more $$] and better character. Thus B is actually not as pro as A.
o P: (ctrl+c, ctrl+v)

· P: However, education also has other functions. For example, it allows people to learn how to do things that ~~will give them more stress~~ they like to do.
· E: Piano, cooking
· E: People who learn piano cooking [er sorry I missed out the comma. This DOES NOT mean cooking the piano. Well you can try, but try to find a pot/wok big enough first] etc usually learn them because of their interests, and not to find jobs.
· P: (ctrl+c, ctrl+v)

Conclusion:
· In conclusion, [add in your own conclusion la! I can’t do everything for you right!]

A word of warning: I will not be responsible for the marks you get.

What cheers me up

2008-03-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

Why blog?

2008-03-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

Why did I suddenly start blogging?

Distraction. Its March hols now. I work at night till morning. [till about 1 to 3 am]. It’s the most conducive hour cause everyone else is in bed. But it gets bored when you’ve worked on math for 3 hours straight. [And you can’t think properly. To be honest, it is vital to do a spell check in Word after typing the post] Anyway, I need a break.

TV is out. Too loud. [And thus wii is ruled out too] No shows anyway.
Anime is out. I’ll never be able to start work again after that. And it’s too long.
Eat. Yeah and I’ll grow fat… [ok the real reason is that there’s no food at home that I feel like eating]
And others…

Yup and also working late at night gives me inspiration somehow. See, its my third post in 4 hours.

Since this blog is to tide me over lonely times at night =.= , I doubt it can survive this holiday. Thus don’t expect too much. [Well, things can be unpredictable…]

I haven't been singing lately...

2008-03-14T08:19:00.001-07:00

Click on picture to enlarge it

Music

2008-03-14T07:25:00.000-07:00

Since Tear’s night (by mizuki nana XD) is playing in my media player, I should just talk about how annoying good music is. What music does to the soul. Bad music is noisy. Good music is ANNOYING and DISTRACTING. At least you won’t remember bad music. But good music stays in your head, plops itself on your sofa and refuses to leave. And it constantly come and kajiao you. You then play another song. So that song walks in through the door and shoves the other one away, and then it goes to the fridge, open it and grabs a drink. Then it plops down onto your sofa, switch on the TV and refuses to leave. And of course, it kajiaos you. And the cycle continues. You then try some instrumentals. Well, no lyrics, won’t concentrate too much on the song right? WRONG. Especially you know the song so well you can replay it on the bus in your head. Its just as bad. Solution? Get all the songs you don’t love, and play them. Songs that you don’t love but don’t hate either will be more polite. They will just stand at the door and when their turn’s over they will automatically leave. I guess they are the UGs of songs. So disciplined. J But a warning here. YOU MAY GROW TO LIKE THEM. XD Well, you can’t help it right? :P